


searching for a signal

by TheCookieMonster77



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Detroit Fam, Drabble Collection, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Pre-Series, Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-12-01 01:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11476020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCookieMonster77/pseuds/TheCookieMonster77
Summary: There are two (2) reasons why Celestino's glorious mane of hair can now be pulled back into a sleek ponytail.Their names are Phichit and Yuuri.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xylophones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylophones/gifts), [eof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eof/gifts).



Celestino doesn't bother holding back his sniffles as he watches his two small skaters and smaller dog through his watery eyes. Phichit is so new and shy, but he doesn't show any of that now, chattering excitedly to Yuuri and Mack from where they're curled up on the ground against the fountain outside the tea shop.

Dragging the two boys out and plying them with tea and excitable corgi is the best decision Celestino's made since taking Phichit on a month ago. Phichit - who's all starry eyes and careful comments - has been dancing around Yuuri since he moved into Celestino's guest bedroom. Yuuri, who does an excellent impression of an anxious icicle when he's not busy blowing away minds as Celestino's star pupil, either misses or illogically reasons Phichit's cues away. The two kids have an amazing talent of missing each other's longing looks and after a month of it, Celestino takes matters into his own two hands.

Namely by not-so-subtly nudging the two together and then draping Mack across their laps so that they couldn't separate. Then all he had to do is sit back and let Mack melt away the mutual anxiety into shy greetings and then into happy chatter.

A tear rolls down his cheek as Yuuri howls with laughter at the end of Phichit's story. Mack woofs and noses Phichit's chin in thanks. The two boys calm down, beaming at the other, until they notice Mack wiggling her butt and dissolve into gales of giggles together.

'Yes,' Celestino thinks as he dumps another three sugars into his supposedly sweet ice tea, 'Mack makes everything better.'

He turns away to give the three some privacy and instead mulls over his notebook cluttered with notes for possible routines. It's not until the sun dips behind the buildings and muted sunlight washes over everything that Yuuri and Phichit join him. Celestino bends down to scoop Mack up into his lap and by then, Yuuri and Phichit have already pulled their chairs together across from him.

Mack noses the pile of empty sugar packets and then turns to scold him with a pout.

Celestino ignores this and rests his chin on her head, beaming at his two students. "I'm glad to see both of you getting along!"

Phichit bites his lip but can't hide his smile, bright grey eyes darting to Yuuri and back. His feet tap a hummingbird's heartbeat underneath the table.

Yuuri nods, a happy little smile curling his lips. He looks mildly sheepish, but Celestino can't begin to guess why.

"Sorry for getting carried away though," Yuuri says softly, ducking his head to hide behind his shirt bangs. "We didn't mean to talk so long."

Phichit turns his smile on Celestino, only a hint of shame gracing him. "You brought us out here to talk programs, yeah?"

Celestino eyes the notebook spread out in front of him. '…right.'

"No matter!" Celestino sees Phichit's and Yuuri's shoulders pressed tight together and ruffles the scruff of Mack's neck. "I'm still brainstorming, I'm glad you two enjoyed talking to each other when I was busy."

The two boys smile at each other again.

Celestino thinks he might burst with pride.

"Would you two like to do this again tomorrow? This is the best tea shop in Detroit, I'll buy you two drinks and bring Mack again."

Two blank faces answered him.

"Celestino…" Phichit trails off gravely, brow pinched with disappointment. He shakes his head.

Celestino forces his smile to stay in place as his heart drops.

"That," Yuuri spits, disgust curling the word into something vile, "is not tea."

Celestino's facade cracks.

"That," Yuuri continues, callously ignoring his coach's fading smile and jabbing a finger at Celestino's watered down sweet tea with sugar crystals piled at the bottom, "is vile dirty leaf water with too much sugar."

Celestino cups Mack's soft cheeks under Yuuri's and Phichit's judgmental stares. "This is why I drink coffee."

Mack licks his cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

Phichit wails into his shirt and Yuuri hopes his glare is strong enough to set Celestino's glorious hair on fire. Celestino is staring down at Phichit, eyebrows at his hairline and hip cocked in his Coach™ position and Yuuri curls his arms around Phichit to protect him from Celestino's remorselessness.

The extra large bag of Angry Spicy BBQ Tao Kae Noi Crispy Seaweed crinkles obnoxiously as Celestino grabs a handful and shoves it in his mouth.

Phichit sniffles and Yuuri hugs him closer. "You cruel and heartless bastard," Yuuri hisses at his coach.

Celestino shoves another handful of fried seaweed chips into his mouth. "You forgot sadistic," he says, mouth full.

"That too," Phichit mutters against Yuuri's chest.

Celestino shrugs. "You should've known better. Bringing junk food into  _my_  house." Celestino shakes his head gravely. "It's like you two think I'm a  _nice_  coach."

Yuuri snorts. "You made us do suicides all morning, no one's under any such delusions."

Celestino gives them both a disbelieving look and shakes the bag.

"It's  _seaweed_  Ciao Ciao."

"It's  _fried_."

"Yeah, but this is a sleepover! You can't have sleepovers without snacks," Phichit protests.

Celestino gestures at the vegetable tray that lays forgotten on the coffee table.

"That's not the same!"

Celestino grabs another handful of chips just so that he can talk with his mouth full. It doesn't muffle his voice. "You both have keys to my house. You just sent Mack to put Arthur, George, and Stuart in their cage in the 'guest' room. It's not sleeping over when you're practically living here."

"We're sleeping on your couch," Yuuri points out.

"You're just ignoring your beds, my point still stands."

Yuuri and Phichit grumble at Celestino's stone heart and fried goodness deprivation, much to Celestino's amusement. Yuuri thinks Celestino's purposefully crinkling the bag as loudly as he can, their coach smiling like a devil in the face of their dramatics.

Mack comes bounding down the stairs, tongue lolling out and nails clicking a rapid  _pitter-patter_  on the linoleum. Yuuri and Phichit sniffle loudly to get her attention and pat their legs invitingly, but then the chip bag crinkles as Celestino digs out another handful and the corgi makes a beeline for Celestino.

Phichit sniffles loudly and buries his face in Yuuri's chest. "Betrayed by my own snacks. O' what a cruel and heartless world!"

"No," says Celestino sternly, wagging his finger at Mack as though he could actually resist her puppy eyes. "Not everything that crinkles is a snack for you."

Mack whines and butts her head against Celestino's leg.

"No," says Celestino, softer, and tries to take a step away. Mack winds herself around his legs, butting and nuzzling and pawing at his feet.

"You go baby," Phichit whispers. Yuuri looks down at Phichit, who's nestled against his chest and holding his phone out as he records it all. "You're doing great sweetie, keep going."

"I  _will_  wake you up at five am for a five mile run Mister, don't think I won't."

Yuuri plops his chin on the top of Phichit's head and regards Celestino coolly. "That would be a much more effective threat if you weren't currently trying to avoid stepping on Mack."

"Hush," says Celestino as he dances around on one foot to avoid kicking Mack. Mack whines insistently, hopping up and trying to grab the bag as though there weren't still a meter of air between her jaw and the bag.

"Alright alright!" Celestino yelps, leaping away and barely managing to get both feet on the ground before Mack scampers up to him and tries jumping for the bag again. Celestino holds the bag above his head as he crouches down, grabbing Mack's snout with one hand to hold her eye-to-eye with him. "You are the most spoiled puppy in existence."

Mack whines and licks Celestino's chin through his clamp on her snout.

"Only one."

"You let Mack eat junk food, but  _not me_." Phichit sniffs loudly. "The injustice."

Celestino shoots Phichit a grumpy look. "Work on your puppy eyes and  _mayb_ -HEY."

The chips bag crinkles loudly from where it's gripped between Mack's teeth as she runs away to kitchen, dried seaweed flakes trailing behind her.

Phichit and Yuuri burst out laughing, drowning out Celestino's half-hearted protests.

Mack trots back in. Celestino frowns at her, but Mack pays no mind as she goes right up to him and head butts him in the stomach.

"First you steal my snacks and now this?!"

"You go Mack, good for you sweetie," Phichit croons.

Celestino glares at Yuuri. "Laps for both of you tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm innocent!"

Celestino snorts. "Control Phichit then. Alright, alright, I'm going!" Celestino grumbles as he stands up and let's Mack push him to where she wants him to go. He ends up by Yuuri and Phichit, crammed into the small gap between the oversized recliner and coffee table.

Celestino takes one looks at Yuuri and Phichit trying to hold back their giggles and raises an eyebrow.

Phichit turns his phone to Celestino. "Yeah, yeah, laps for both of us."

Celestino  _hmph_ s. Mack whines and all three humans snap their attention back to her.

Mack looks at the vegetable tray and then back to Celestino pointedly.

"You can't even see on top of the table, how do you know?" Celestino says. (It would've been a whine, had Celestino actually been capable of whining, Yuuri thinks.)

"Mack is so talented," Yuuri says reverently.

"I'm adding ten laps every time you annoy me."

Mack whines again and pokes Celestino's calve.

" _Fine_." Celestino groans pitifully as he grabs a celery stick. Macks woofs happily, butt wiggling as she watches Celestino eat the vegetable with minimal grumbling.

"You," Celestino says, grabbing carrot stick this time. He boops Mack's nose with it. "Why must you take such good care of me?"

Mack snaps up the carrot stick, bursting with good doggo pride. Yuuri and Phichit cheer for her. Mack's face splits into a wide smile and she wags her tail happily.

"Good girl," Celestino says, defeated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who forgot it's tuesday~~
> 
> tho technically it's still tuesday for me so whoop whoop

Celestino likes to relax on his evenings off. His favorite way to spend them is watching Stéphane Lambiel's past performances with Mack in his lap for an hour before they go off for a run (five miles or ten, depending on his mood). Lately though, his Stéphane Lambiel time has been interspersed with YouTube videos Phichit and-or Yuuri recommend or looking up tips on how to help people through panic attacks. Or, like today, his lock jiggling in the middle of a help video on anxiety.

Mack perks up a second before Celestino's front door bursts open with two loud calls of, "Ciao Ciao!"

Celestino just barely catches her before she leaps off his lap.

"No," he tells her sternly. Mack avoids his eyes and squirms in his lap. "Jumping is bad for your hips."

The corgi whines and presses her nose against his chin. The twin terrors pound down the hallway and Mack wags her tail cutely as her two second favorite people get closer. Celestino rubs her neck soothingly, trying to school his face into a less dopey expression before his skaters see it.

_Crash!_

Mack attempts another leap for freedom.

"Mack,  _no_."

His beloved corgi ignores him, scrambling against his grip. She's squirming so much he has to set her down and she's off like a shot the minute her paws touch the ground.

Phichit is the first recipient to the Mack Cannon as he rounds the corner, waving some sort of warped metal pot. "Hi Ciao Ciao, hi Mack! Look what we got!"

"What'd you two break?" Celestino asks without preamble. Phichit ignores him and holds the pot in his hands for Mack's inspection. Celestino sighs and yells, "Yuuri, come out, come out…"

Yuuri walks in, arms coated in shopping bags. "That was not my fault and your picture frame is fine. Blame the groceries."

"I thought you said everything was fine?"

Yuuri ignores him and throws out his arms. "Hi Mack!"

"Oi, stop ignoring me for my dog!" Celestino says as Yuuri does just that. 

Phichit bounces over to where Celestino's sitting and shoves the metal thing in his face. "Ignore them, look at the latest sacrifice for the Kastulanont Curry Pot!"

Celestino shoves the pot out of his face and raises his eyebrow. "Why are you excited over a dented pot?"

"Oh my god,  _Ciao Ciao_." Phichit sighs dramatically and Celestino valiantly restrains his eye roll. "You need glasses."

"Don't go calling me old!"

Then Phichit flips the pot and reveals-

Celestino snatches it out of his hands for closer inspection. "Is that…"

"A dragon shaped cake mold? Yes!" Phichit bounces on his feet happily. "Innit neat?"

Celestino flips the cake pan around in his hands, grinning wide as he picks out the little details in the dragon curled around a pile of treasure. "Very."

Yuuri, who's happily curled around Mack amidst the scattered shopping bags, finally rejoins the conversation. "We came to steal your oven since the dorm's oven is shit."

"Your mixer too."

Celestino smiles, bemused. "You two think you're going to eat cake in  _my_ house?"

Yuuri shrugs. "In all fairness, we thought you'd be out on your run and never know."

"Or at least not find out until it's too late," Phichit admits shamelessly. Then clasps his hands and blinks doe eyes at Celestino. "Will you pretty please let us eat cake if we make you some too?"

"No."

"Then can you pretty please stand up so my puppy eyes will work better?"

Celestino snorts. "No, no breaking your diets." He stands up and stretches, making sure his glee isn't too apparent as Phichit and Yuuri whine loudly. He thinks about making them join his run, debating whether the whining will still be entertaining or obnoxious after mile three.

Phichit sniffles theatrically (he must be getting lessons from Todd from improv again) and Yuuri pouts from behind Mack. Mack noses Yuuri's chin in concern. Her head swivels to Phichit at his next whine and then to Celestino, disapproval radiating.

Celestino frowns at her.

Mack pouts back.

He caves.

"But," he drawls. His skaters' mouths snap shut with audible clicks. "If I come home from my run to find that a fully baked cake has magically appeared for me, Mack would force me to share it."

Phichit whoops. Yuuri hugs Mack close and kisses the top of her head. "Thank you Mack."

Celestino pretends that Yuuri didn't see right through him. "What about a thanks for _my_ generousity?"

"Eh."

"You're breaking my heart, Katsuki."

"You don't have a heart," Yuuri shoots back without hesitation.

"Yes I do!" Celestino protests. "I wish I didn't, then Mack would stop yelling at me over my blood sugar."

Yuuri scowls at him. "You are so ungrateful, the injustice-"

Celestino rolls his eyes and turns to Phichit. "I'm leaving for my run now. Don't burn down my house."

Phichit smiles, mischief sparkling in his eyes. "I dunno what you're so worried about Ciao Ciao,  _we're_ not the ones who burnt water."

"That was  _one time_ -"

Phichit laughs, easily ducking under Celestino's hand as he half-heartedly tries to ruffle his hair. Celestino sniffs indignantly and goes to collect his dog.

Only for Yuuri to curl tighter around Mack. "No."

Celestino nudges Yuuri's back with his foot. "She needs to go on our run, Yuuri."

Yuuri grunts. Mack, who must think they're playing hide 'n seek, wiggles her snout under Yuuri's armpit, tail wagging.

"Yuuri."

"No, get your own."

" _Get my_ \- I will give you laps Katsuki, don't think I won't!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're making carrot cake btws. not because they actually like it, but it's Mack's favorite 
> 
> I own the dragon cake mold, it was a gift and it's amazing and I love it. and yes, I have actually burnt water, my old apartment stove still has the scorch marks 
> 
> the Katsulanont Curry Pot is a reference to xylo's [amazing detroit fam fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11452647). pls read it, it makes me cry tears of joy approximately sixteen times a week


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based off [this post](http://thecookiemonster77.tumblr.com/post/163778529679/edible-opposing-forks)

Celestino hates his life. He might even hate his past self for his terrible life choices and awful fashion sense, except that he's always had the best fashion sense and makes great decisions.

The two skaters in front of him sigh longingly.

Scratch his previous sentence. He made awful,  _awful_  life choices in his youth and now he's paying the price for it.

If only he hadn't always had impeccable fashion tastes. If only his mother hadn't brought more photo albums than clothes when she visited him last month. If only he had burned them beyond all recognition before Mother had shown Phichit and Yuuri. If only, if only, if only...

Anna, an incredibly talented ice-dancer with a voice volume that outshone her dance skills, sighs loudly. She plops her chin in her hands, side pressed against her ice-dance partner. "How do they  _do_  it," she whines, louder than intended. "How do they make tie-dye leggings and neon dolphin shorts look  _hot_?!"

Tommy, all messy blond curls and a gabber that runs faster than his brain, rests his head against hers and pats her knee consolingly. "With asses and thighs like theirs, they can make anything look great."

Celestino fingers dig into his biceps. He wonders if they forgot he's behind them or if they're just stupid.

"I hope they never stop wearing them. I'm just..." Anna trails off in favor of sighing and fanning herself.

Tommy nods solemnly. "I hope Coach Celestino makes us all do laps again. Remember when they skated in front of us for twenty minutes and we were blessed with a view?"

Anna and Tommy dissolve into twin sighs. Celestino bares his teeth in a grin and steps up behind them. "Glad to hear it!" he booms.

Anna lets out an ear piercing shriek. Tommy flies off the bench, hands clutched against his chest.

"If you just wanted more laps, you should've said something!" Celestino continues cheerfully. "Get going on them."

The blood drains from Anna and Tommy's face, and then they're blurs as they scramble to the ice. They fling their guards off without pause and Celestino's retroactively relieved they already had their skates on. He'd hate for his irritation to have resulted in an injured skater because they were too scared to properly lace their skates.

Celestino  _hmrph_ s as Anna and Tommy zip around the rink and dodge their startled rinkmates. The rink is still calmer than normal though, as Phichit and Yuuri have the day off. Celestino tries not to miss their sass and turns his supervision onto his three other skaters, Dan, Lucy, and Drew, sharing the ice.

It's nice. Peaceful. Anna and Tommy are slowing down and shooting him desperate looks as they huff their way through laps. Dan and Drew are taking a water break and Lucy gleefully takes full advantage of the open ice. Celestino's phone chimes from his pocket.

He barely has a second to see it's sender before the rink's doors burst open and everything goes to hell.

"Ciao Ciao!"

"What?!" Celestino yelps as Yuuri, Phichit, and Mack come in.

"We were on a walk and Mack wanted to say hi," Yuuri says. He smiles innocently with Phichit, as though the two little hellions don't know  _exactly_  what they're doing.

Mack barks as she runs to Celestino. Celestino sits down heavily on the stands. Mack takes full advantage and scrambles up onto the stand next to him so that she can wiggle into his lap and lick his chin.

Celestino pets her absentmindedly as he stares in horror at Phichit and Yuuri below him. "What. Are you two wearing."

Yuuri beams. Phichit twirls to show off. Celestino groans as he takes in their baby pink crop tops - Phichit's with the words "Hamster King" in glittering gold, Yuuri's with "katsuDAMN" in soft white. They're wearing matching bright blue booty shorts and knee-high socks.

"Do you like the shirts?" Phichit asks eagerly.

"They're gifts," Yuuri explains.

Celestino stares. " _Why,_ " he asks, just a tad desperate.

Phichit groans dramatically. " _Ciao Ciao_." He drapes himself back on the barrier as though he was a five-dollar romance heroine. His crop top slides up his chest. Tommy skates into Anna and his top ice-dancers go down in a heap of torn pants and wide eyes.

Phichit sighs and plucks at the collar of his shirt. "It's  _hot."_

"It's  _March_ ," Celestino grits.

Yuuri laughs and props his elbows on a railing, butt pushed out and hip cocked. Drew spits her water out at Dan, which does nothing to pull his eyes away from Yuuri's ass.

"He wasn't talking about the weather," Yuuri says cheerfully.

Celestino looks out at his rink, which used to be such an orderly place. Lucy's frozen in the middle of the rink, staring longingly at Phichit. Anna and Tommy are still sprawled across the ice, faring the same. Dan has yet to notice the water dripping down the side of his face, even though Drew is patting it dry with a cloth in between longing looks at Yuuri. He can even see some early-arrived hockey players with their heads poked around the rink door, whispering excitedly to each other as they marvel at their luck in at seeing Yuuri and Phichit outside of their practice clothes.

His head throbs.

"Mack," he says. He rubs her head as he gathers the last strings of his sanity, aided by the kisses she gives to his hand and chin. "Take Yuuri and Phichit for laps around the building.

Phichit jerks upright with a squawk. "Ciao Ciao!"

"B-but," Yuuri sputters, "we have today off!"

Celestino ignores them and cups Mack's cheeks. "Be a good girl and drive them hard, okay sweetie?" Mack boofs. "Make sure they do ten and I'll give you extra doggy treats tonight, okay?"

Mack's tongue rolls out at the word 'treats' and her butt wiggles from her energetic tail wagging. She licks Celestino's chin once more before hopping down and running over to Yuuri and Phichit, nipping at their heels as she rounds them up for their run.

Celestino smiles down at his two kids who are sputtering up a storm of half-formed words and whines. "Better get started children, you don't want to be the reason Mack misses out on her treats."

Mack gets even more energetic at the 'T' word again, barking and yipping at their heels. Yuuri takes a couple of hesitant steps forward. "That's  _mean,_  Celestino!"

"You wouldn't," Phichit says. He dances forward, careful not to step on Mack as she runs happy circles around him. "You're bluffing, Ciao Ciao! You'd...you'd never take anything away from Mack." He and Yuuri halfheartedly jog towards the doors, throwing desperate looks over their shoulders.

"But then you would've disappointed  _Mack_."

Yuuri and Phichit whine in despair. They bolt out the doors, yelling about cruel skating dads, and Mack bounds after them happily with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

Silence falls over the rink. Celestino clears his throat, dragging his skaters attention away from the doors. "Now," he says, beaming. "Let's stop getting on my nerves and do some  _actual_  skating, yes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one focuses with yuuri and phichit around. no one
> 
> heads up the update schedule has switched from tuesdays to sundays (/the weekends) d(o.o)


	5. Chapter 5

Once, Phichit and Yuuri take a calculus class together. Yuuri for his love of math, Phichit to finish out a minor he accidentally fulfilled. **  
**

“No cheat sheets for the final,” says the professor.

“You either know your shit or you don't,” she says to a classroom full of whines.

“I’ll only let you use one if you tattoo it onto your body,” she says with a smirk.

Phichit Looks at Yuuri.

“Phichit no,” says Yuuri.

Phichit feigns deafness. “I wonder if Sam from the dorms remembers us. He had the coolest tattoos, I bet he knows a place.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes. 

 

 

Sam from the dorms remembers them.

(Of course he does, he’s one of the many who had crushes on them both and is physically incapable of talking when they're wearing crop tops. He’s never going to forget that, no matter how oblivious Phichit and Yuuri are.)

They meet up for coffee shortly before Phichit and Yuuri's first midterm. Sam insists on buying them drinks and stammers his way through the first twenty minutes as Phichit delicately traces his new sleeve of roses and Yuuri shyly glances at him beneath his lashes.

Eventually, they talk business.

“Soooo,” drawls Phichit, leaning forward with his face cupped in his hands. He doesn’t notice Sam taking deep, fortifying breaths. “What do you think it would cost us to get cheat sheet tattoos?”

“We're not doing this Phichit,” says Yuuri, even though he's the one who suggested coffee. “I'm not going through the rest of my life with Green’s Theorem tattooed on my thighs.”

“Actually,” says Sam, thinking out loud. He taps his lips, only partially to help him think. “If you only tattooed the surface, they'll disappear in a few months.”

“Phichit yes!”

Yuuri and Sam blink at Phichit, who smiles sheepishly and scratches his cheek. Sam hides his longing sigh behind a swallow of coffee.

“Sorry, jumped the gun. Yuuri can tell me no now.”

Yuuri does not tell him no.

 

 

Sam has his own tattoo gun and tells them he'll do it free of charge. “Favor for friends,” he insists.

They insist he has to let them take him out to dinner at least. Sam is not an idiot, so he says yes and preens in front of all the envious servers at Yuuri's favorite Italian restaurant two nights before Phichit and Yuuri's second midterm.

After dinner, Sam nearly dies of a heart attack when Phichit and Yuuri emerge from his bathroom in crop tops and booty shorts.

 

 

“Celestino’s gonna kill us,” says Yuuri as Sam tattoos the divergence theorem onto his thighs. Sam, whose tongue is in knots being this close to The Thighs, does not ask who Celestino is.

“Worth it,” says Phichit. His abs are covered in conversion equations for spherical coordinates next. Sam doesn't drool only through sheer determination and professional pride.

 

 

Celestino finds out, of course. It's not that Yuuri and Phichit were trying to hide their tattoos per se, they were just hoping Celestino wouldn't find out until after they disappeared like Sam promised they would.  

Celestino discovers them less than a week after they get them at practice when Yuuri's shirt rides up a little too high. His shout nearly brings down the building. Yuuri's reassurances that Phichit's doing it too does not help the vein about to burst on Celestino’s forehead.

Nor does explaining the situation.

“I thought you cared about our education Ciao Ciao,” whines Phichit while draped dramatically along a bench. He ignores the silent grind of Celestino's teeth.

“Listen,” says Celestino. His clenched teeth do nothing to muffle his voice. “I love that you two love to learn. I'll hang your report cards up on my fridge when you get your A’s like always. But…” Celestino takes a fortifying breath. “ _Please_ tell me those aren't permanent. The Roselton Cup is next week.”

Yuuri snorts. “Our professor wouldn't let us use these on the final if they weren't permanent, Celestino.”

Celestino's face is almost purple when Phichit finally chimes in that the ink will drain out by Worlds. Celestino's so relieved he yells at everyone in Italian for three hours and assigns everyone laps for the rest of the day.

 

 

Yuuri high fives Phichit as they turn in their final exams first. “Worth it,” they say, stepping out into the Detroit chill in too little clothing baring the semester’s notes inked across their skin.

That professor doesn’t allow cheat sheet tattoos anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bless my cousin and her tattoo gun
> 
> [reblog on tumblr](http://thecookiemonster77.tumblr.com/post/164163872599/how-phichit-and-yuuri-became-legends-in-the)


	6. Chapter 6

"You two think you're going to eat that in  _my_  presence?"

Phichit pauses in the middle of loading up his plate with the goodies he and Yuuri had gotten from the Chinese restaurant a town over. He blinks up at Celestino innocently and then looks down at the food spread across the table before him. The spring rolls and sesame coated buns gleam with grease. The smell of cooked oils and grilled fat make him want to drool. Phichit licks his lips and forces every last bit of his nutrition education from his head.

Celestino doesn't seem inclined to do the same. His face is a worrying shade of red.

Phichit smiles sweetly at Celestino and pats his hand reassuringly. "Don't worry Ciao Ciao, we're splitting it!"

A vein pops on Celestino's forehead. Phichit can hear the silent grind of his teeth.

"This stuff is packed with vitamins, y'know," Phichit says wisely as he squints at his food. Hopefully said vitamins will wave so he can point them out.

Celestino raises an eyebrow.

"Okay so. A vitamin."

Yuuri looks up from his plate stacked high with jian dui and egg tarts. "If you listen carefully, you can hear it crying from loneliness."

"Exactly!"

The two of them beam, wide and innocent.

Another vein pops on Celestino's forehead. Phichit taps his lips with a greasy spring roll and wonders if that shade of purple on a human warrants a 911 call.

"Huh. I don't think he's gonna let us eat anything," Yuuri says. He takes a large bite out of a red bean bun and groans happily. "Carbs and grease, my old friends."

"No, no," Celestino grinds out, the blood slowly draining from his face. "I'll let you eat all of this... _food_."

Phichit pauses with the spring roll halfway in his mouth andexchanges a look with Yuuri out of the corner of his eye. Yuuri's bun rests on his lips, unbitten as it's owner waits for the upcoming 'but'.

Celestino smiles with all his teeth. "One lap for both of you for every bite."

The roll and bun descend. Yuuri and Phichit exchange a Look.

Celestino smiles triumphantly.

Then Yuuri and Phichit raise their treats and eat them whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone save ciao ciao


	7. Batman vs Superman

Phichit, in a burst of longing homesickness, bemoans his lack of minions to Yuuri and Celestino. Between thinking about Charoen’s mischievous smile and his thumb hovering over Sasithorn’s FaceTime call button, he asks Celestino give him the Tiny Demons.

“Come on Ciao Ciao!” Phichit uses his best puppy eyes. “Just for a week.”

Celestino adamantly stares up at the ceiling to avoid said puppy eyes. Phichit wonders if Yuuri would let him borrow his shoulders for two minutes.

“No, absolutely not. They are _my_ Tiny Demons.”

“Pleaseeee-“

“No,” Celestino growls at the duck shaped water stain on the ceiling. “Mine. They wouldn’t follow you anyways.”

“Challenge accepted!”

“ _Don’t_ -“ tries Celestino.

But it’s too late.

* * *

Making the Tiny Demons his minions takes Phichit a few weeks. It’s almost discouraging.

First he tries homemade cupcakes. Phichit has the utmost confidence in his sugar bribing techniques, but he underestimates the fervor at which the Tiny Demons take Celestino’s Skaters Life Tips to heart. (He is, however, incredibly popular with the Tiny Demons’ parents now.)

The next two weeks are a blur of games, jokes, and skating tricks. Phichit manages to get the Tiny Demons to look up at him with stars in their eyes and cling to his legs with adorable awe. But they aren’t his minions yet and it’s therefore Not Enough.

Success comes week four.

“I’m writing you out of my will,” Celestino says darkly, arms crossed over his chest and crackling with indignation.

Phichit laughs maniacally from within his ring of minions. He’s wearing a Batman shirt with a cape sewn to the shoulders. Half his face is covered with a cheap plastic mask. The Tiny Demons swarm him gleefully, yelling over each other for Phichit to do another trick or the Batman voice for them.

“You’re doing laps until you die,” Celestino grouches.

Phichit beams at him, Tiny Demons hanging off his shoulders. “Worth it.”

* * *

Phichit enjoys his newfound position as Minion Overlord for another week before Celestino strikes back, arriving in a incredibly detailed, perfectly tailored Superman suit.

Phichit weeps.

“This is unfair,” Phichit sniffles, cape wrapped around him as a comfort blanket. Amanda, the only Tiny Demon Phichit loves right now, squirms into his lap and pats his cheek clumsily for comfort.

Celestino cheerfully throws Phichit to the tumbleweeds and gathers in Tiny Demons into his spandex covered arms. “All’s fair in love and war.”

Phichit _hmphs_. “I’m a broke college student and you are a ridiculously wealthy coach. This is systematic injustice.”

A Tiny Demon clambers onto Celestino’s back while using his ponytail as a rope. Celestino’s so smug his eye only twitches once.

“Good things come with age, kiddo.”

Phichit sulks.

* * *

The next session, Phichit arrives in his new and improved costume. He knows he looks amazing - Ben from finance is the most avid DC fan Phichit knows and he remembers Ben fretting over every detail before the last Comic-Con. Ben only wants a dinner in exchange for loaning it to Phichit and if Phichit regains the Tiny Demons, he’d gleefully buy Ben all the dinners he wants.

Celestino awaits him on the battlefield, skates laced and cape ironed to crisp perfection. The Tiny Demons gather along the boards, completely silent and eyes wide. Not one blinks as they wait for the showdown.

Celestino narrows his eyes at Phichit’s new suit and the tension thickens.

“They are my Tiny Demons,” Celestino says through clenched teeth. “Back off.”

“I would have,” says Phichit, drawing himself up to his full height as though his forehead doesn’t barely reach Celestino’s chin, “but you challenged me.”

“They follow me.”

Phichit smirks. “That’s not for you to decided.”

They scowl at each other, lightning racing between them, and turn to the judges.

The Tiny Demons are gone.

“Shit!” Phichit panics.

Celestino stares at the empty space in dread.

Phichit looks around frantically. “Where are they?!”

Then they hear the excited squeals and whirl around.

The Tiny Demons crowd around Yuuri, the dark knight in full Wonder Woman regalia. He couldn’t have done any tricks for the Tiny Demons yet as his feet are skateless and his legs bare under the skirt, but the Tiny Demons are enraptured nonetheless.

Yuuri sees them and smirks.

Celestino breaks first. “I’m disowning you.”

Yuuri pouts at Celestino, eyes crinkled smugly. “Don’t be a grump just because I’m more awesome than you.” He strikes the Wonder Woman signature pose and the Tiny Demons scream their excitement.

Phichit crosses his arms with a huff and glares at his bestie. “You ass.”

“Looks wonderful in this skirt.” Yuuri cocks a hip and flips his bangs. A gaping on-looker swoons. Someone else screams. The Tiny Demons’ awe shoots through the roof. “Thanks, I know.”

* * *

And that is the story of how Wonder Woman beat both Batman and Superman at their own game. Like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait friends. been kinda overwhelmed with moving and school and general health nonsense (which is also why i'm so behind on replying to comments too). i haven't stopped writing for this though, so i'm gonna try to at least update every other week ;)
> 
> also! some friends and i have started up a detroit fam server! if you wanna join up to interact with yoi fans, hmu!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *emerges from homework hell to update this*

“Is not.”

“Is too!”

“IS NOT-”

“No!” Celestino clamps a hand over each of their mouths, brow knitted together in frustration. “ _Those_ ,” he grouches, glaring at the iced muffins clutched against their chests, “are not.” He blows out a breath of hot air. “You cannot substitute breakfast with cupcakes!”

Phichit licks his hand, unrepentant as Celestino yanks his hand away in disgust. Phichit takes a huge bite of his muffin, icing smearing onto his nose adorably, and speaks through a mountain of delicious, sugar-laden carbs. “We told you, these are muffins.”

Celestino huffs. Yuuri takes advantage of the distraction to slip out of his grip and slide into Celestino’s blind spot, happily gulping down one of his own iced muffin and starting a second.

“Iced muffins are basically cupcakes,” Celestino insists as he makes another swipe for Phichit’s.

Crumbs spray from Yuuri’s mouth in protest. “Are not!”

“You can’t eat cupcakes for breakfast!” Celestino makes a swipe for Yuuri’s muffins and Phichit takes the moment to shove a whole muffin into his mouth, cheeks bulging out like a hamster’s. Yuuri ducks around Ciao Ciao and Phichit poses, Yuuri proving to be the best friend in the world as he automatically digs out his phone and snaps a photo.

Celestino gives up. Even his hair seems to wilt as he stares at Yuuri and Phichit stuffing their faces with sugar. “Please,” Celestino sighs. If Phichit and Yuuri didn’t know better, they’d say Celestino were begging. “Please tell me you two have eaten more than just those.”

Phichit and Yuuri blink blankly, cheeks bulging with contraband muffins.

Celestino groans and grabs his jacket. His finger rises, a lecture sure to come, but he only sighs and turns to the doors. “I’m taking you idiot children out for breakfast. _Now_.”

Behind his back, Yuuri and Phichit grin around half-chewed breakfast monstrosities and high five each other.

“I saw that!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [detroit fam server link!! :DD](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSffkewN-xJMVpy_4VVR_exyy2YeD4qoxpawY7wG-71QSf0gIQ/viewform)

**Author's Note:**

> "xylo and eof are the worst enablers" I say as I do all this shit on my own
> 
> denial is thy name
> 
> anyways, thank you to xylo and eof for listening to my sappy butt weep over these beans <3<3
> 
>  
> 
> [come say hi on tumblr!](http://thecookiemonster77.tumblr.com/tagged/the-detroit-fam)
> 
>  
> 
> edit: wanna join a yoi server? it's detroit fam-centric but we cry over all the beans together. if you're interested in meeting more nerds and enjoying the shenanigans, click [here!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSffkewN-xJMVpy_4VVR_exyy2YeD4qoxpawY7wG-71QSf0gIQ/viewform) and we'll send you an invite :DD


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